This emotional negativity needs to go away.
And never come back. I don’t need this right now.
I really want to go home.
I just want to get off work and go home, take a shower, and go out for liquid nitrogen made ice cream with a friend.
Then play some video games.
Then pick up a friend from LA.
I don’t want to do anything productive.
No work, no homework, nothing.
But alas, such is not my life.
So i went shopping yesterday with some friends, and I was looking to buy some sweaters because sweaters are cute.
Not pullovers or cardigans, just cute, knit sweaters because those are really nice.
And it turns out.
That I can’t wear them.
Of course I can wear them.
I apparently just look awful in them.
Reason being: I have boobs that are too big for cute clothes.
My friends I was shopping with gave me the advice to either wear a sports bra (or a bind in my opinion) when wearing or shopping for sweaters, or just don’t.
This made me sad because I really like cute sweaters and cute clothes, but I also take great pride in my appearance, and If I don’t look good in something, I tend not to wear it.
I am just so saddened.
Kay, so this is kind of old news, but I guess it made me more uncomfortable than I thought, so I’m just gonna post about it now to get it off my chest.
You’ll forgive me if i offend anyone here, I don’t mean to. I sincerely apologize if I do though.
You know what makes me really uncomfortable?
This strange obsession with the East that certain members of society covet.
I literally don’t understand,
Like, yeah, East Asia is cool, but there are other places that are just as cool and interesting, you just have to be willing to look, right?
But, the reason it makes me uncomfortable is because i work in the service industry at my family restaurant as a waitress/bartender.
I’m obviously Asian.
Occasionally, I get the odd, male, ELDERLY customer to serve, and for some reason, they always like to talk about how wonderful East Asian culture is, and more specifically, how drop dead gorgeous East Asian women are. It’s just really creepy to me because I am 21 years old, and I have absolutely NO INTEREST in men twice or thrice my age, so it makes me really uncomfortable, especially when they ask me questions or compliment me.
Like, I LOVE compliments, but that doesn’t mean I like getting compliments all the time, much less from old, white men who only look at me as some exotic Asian beauty. It’s just weird. And extra creepy because they’re old.
I mean, I’ve been hit on by weird guys in general who aren’t much to look at and have unattractive personalities, but it gets even weirder when they hit on me because I’m Asian. Like that is their sole reason for being attracted to me: I’m an Asian woman. Yes, I am Asian, and yes I am a woman, but there’s more to me than that, can you look past the Asian bit? Better yet, how about not hitting on me at all since I’m probable the same age as your GRANDCHILD?
The other thing that bothers me about this focus on East Asian culture is the whole stereotypes thing. Like, this one time, I confronted my brother’s Chess Club adviser because he was talking about how Leo (my bro) had too much of a poker face while playing CHESS (a game where having a poker face is a GOOD thing) and he went on about how he knows Chinese people are trained from a young age to have a good poker face, so of course, my family and I are all like “wtf”, and instead of listening to what I have to say, he goes on to tell me how he was expecting my reaction because he dated a Korean woman in the past, and I’m just like “I AM NOT YOUR KOREAN EX, DON’T COMPARE US” in my head because this was about my brother, not me.
It just BOTHERS me to no end, because no not all Asians are the same, and no, I don’t like old men who try to flirt with me because I’m Asian, and no I don’t like people who sexualize Asian women. Thanks for the compliment, but I’m really NOT INTERESTED.
Ice cream plus Natsume’s Book of Friends ought to cheer me up.
except Natsume’s Book of Friends is actually kinda sad at times, so maybe not….
I want to draw something emotional, but then I also want cute, but i’ve been feeling so EMOTIONAL that it’s killing me.